Nov 10, 2025
This week, Ben Appel joins me to talk about his new book, Cis White Gay: The Making of a Gender Heretic, a memoir about leaving one kind of cult only to stumble into another. Raised in a rigid Christian community, Ben found refuge in the gay rights movement and, later, the Ivy League—until “allyship” started to look less like solidarity and more like a loyalty oath.
We discuss
• Why he chose the deliberately provocative title Cis,
White, Gay — and what reactions revealed about current
identity politics.
• How queer “community” has become increasingly moralized,
hierarchical, and policed — and what gets lost when dissent is
framed as betrayal.
• The difference between taste and taboo —
and how aesthetic preferences are now treated as political
statements.
• Why “representation” has replaced excellence as the highest
cultural virtue.
• How literary gatekeeping operates today — from publishers
and prize committees to informal online watchdogs.
• The loneliness of ideological nonconformity in queer and
creative circles.
• The professional and social costs of questioning orthodoxy —
including lost friendships, lost opportunities, and subtle
blacklisting.
Guest Bio:
Ben Appel is a writer and commentator whose memoir, Cis White Gay, traces his path from a strict Christian sect to progressive activism—and his break with movement orthodoxy; he’s written for outlets like Newsweek, UnHerd, and more, and publishes on Substack.
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